There’s this sort of… credentialing in queer circles that feels really yucky to me. That in order to participate in queer discourse, you have to be ready to show your receipts, and you can’t complain if anyone demands to see them. Even if it means outing yourself before you’re ready. Even if it means being dragged out of the closet.
It creates this culture where people who are questioning, people whose queerness is still emerging, can’t ask for help.
I looked back on old emails and chatlogs a while back and realized I was questioning my own gender identity as far back as 2010. I could’ve gone through this process, and maybe even come out, years ago. But I didn’t, in large part because I didn’t feel like it was okay to ask for help.